100 Things. Re: Moi. Part IV: Highschool

31) For the first time, a boy who I liked, liked me. We will attribute this miracle to contact lenses. His name was Matt Tiettemahn. On my fourteenth birthday he came strolling down the hallway toward my locker carrying a single rose. Lame now, but--at the time--crushingly romantic.

32) Later that same night our dear Matt came to my house to surprise me...with a dozen roses. My mom and dad and I are sitting in the living room, watching tv. A knock at the door, and there he is, bouquet in hand like something out of a Molly Ringwald movie. Only, a key romance-factor in those movies is that the parents are never home when the hot boy shows up at the door. Having the parents be at home sitting with you on your couch, while Matt Tiettemahn fawns all over you, makes the whole situation very awkward. And when Matt tries to get you to sit on his lap, it gets worse still. And then, when someone (your mom, maybe?) suggests that you take Matt upstairs to show him the den (?), you feel relief but also an impending sense of dread. Because to go from never having any boy even notice your existence, to having a cool, popular boy in your den holding birthday-surprise roses...well, it's a lot to handle.

33) First kiss: Matt's house to watch movies. Unlike my parents who checked on us about every five seconds after sending us to the upstairs den, HIS parents sent us to the basement to "watch tv" and then promptly went on vacation to Florida. Matt played "More Than Words" by Extreme and read me a poem about footprints and sand. Then he licked my face. I remember standing there, and thinking, "That was it?" And it was.

34) I also got my first and--I think, only--hickey that night. I wore a forest-green turtleneck to school on Monday and showed my hickey to a few of my closest friends*. I felt like The Luckiest, Coolest Girl Ever.

*Everyone.

35) I broke up with Matt after two weeks.

36) I went to Prom four times. First time: fuchsia dress that looked like something I stole from the dressing room at a ballroom dancing competition. Also, of course, fuchsia dyeables. Second time: strappy black dress with slits on both sides. Sparkly beaded jacket. Not bad. Third time: A red dress that I thought looked like the one Julia Roberts wears in Pretty Woman. Didn't. Fourth time: Mono + Long black dress + Pale white skin + Circles under eyes= Walking Death.

37) Singing competitions, voice lessons, performances, all the time.

38) Got drunk for the first time as a Freshman. Alicia Bartline, whose father had money because he invented a machine that killed chickens, kept small bottles of airplane liquor in her closet. Being friends with Alicia made me feel Bad.

39) At fifteen I went to a national speech and debate competition where I met a boy named Aron. After sitting with him for one night at dinner, I said, "I could spend the rest of my life locked in a room with that person and be completely happy." I meant it. We wrote letters and visited each other for nine years after we met. Now we don't talk, and I'll never tell you why.

40) What teenage story would be complete without food issues. In study hall my friend Amy and I chewed donuts and then spit them out, so as to get the taste but not the calories. I also would go home after school and mix up batches and batches of cookie dough and then--without sampling even so much as one spoonful--I would take the batter outside and dump it in the bushes before my mom came home. Then it made me feel powerful. Now it makes me feel sick.