A Fun New Game

Let me tell you about this fun new game I'm playing. It is called, Find The Girl In The Bar Who I Think Is Probably M's New Girlfriend.

Here are the rules:

1) She has to be prettier than I am.

2) She has to look like she might have one of the following occupations: underwear model, rockstar, hot librarian.

3) She has to be the kind of person who doesn't look like she does community service, but, when you follow her out of the bar, all the homeless people she passes say things like, "Hey So&So, thanks so much for the basket of muffins you brought us over at the shelter. We really loved 'em. See you next Sunday."

4) When you position yourself near her to listen in on her conversation and see if she mentions M's name, she has to be talking (in Russian) about one of the following four things:

* How she deferred Harvard Med School to live in Paris for a year and paint.
* How sometimes it really hurts her to love the world so much.
* How she and her new boyfriend were just talking the other day about how great she looks naked, and how nice that is for him since his last girlfriend was basically just one big fat-roll covered in stretch marks.
* How, the other day, when she was feeding baby deer in the forest, she found the doorway to Narnia.

I hate my imagination.

I am officially psychotic.