tales of a girl in the city

août 17, 2005


The thing I hate most about myself is my need for approval. It juts out from my (mostly) smooth facade in all sorts of ways, the way the ugly corners of coat hangers do when you're trying to stuff them into garbage bags. I sense that I'm on unsteady ground with someone and I start to feel frantic.

Take this current silly dilemma. I borrowed my roommate's earrings without asking; she's in Mongolia. Then I promptly left one of them at a boy's house. Now I'm panicking. I feel awful for borrowing the earrings in the first place. Awful for leaving one of them behind. Awful for needing to bother the boy's friend about coming over to look for them. Awful, awful, awful. My roommate won't like me. The boy's friend will think I'm crazy. I'm a horrible person. I've done the wrong thing. People will be angry, annoyed, disappointed, inconvenienced, and it's my fault.

I've been spiraling around this for days.

Make me feel better. What terrible things have you guys done?