tales of a girl in the city

mai 04, 2004

What the FUCK!?!?: The Movie

This is how I feel about it:

The setting is one of those scenes in a sci-fi movie.

We are all members of a small farm community in the Midwest. Don't worry, we all look AMAZING in overalls.

In the midst of our day of plowing and hanging out at the post office, something strange has happened. Rolling black clouds have appeared out of nowhere. The sky turns dark as pitch. A streak of fire sears through the air...

...and something plummets toward earth...

...landing smack-dab in the middle of Main Street.

Landon *moving toward the glowing object*: Fuck me! Did you guys see that? Holy Fuck!

Etoile: Wow...fuck! What...? What was that?

Susan: Is everyone OK? Is anyone hurt? Everybody?

British Boob: Steady men! Steady!

Leticia: Hello? Steady PEOPLE. God, move into the 21st Century already! You're so sexist sometimes.

Soon we are all huddled in a circle, peering cautiously down at the strange intruder.

Me: What is it?

Brittle-Lemon: Huh. I can't say what it is, but I sure know what it looks like.

Me: Yeah. God. It looks like--How weird... I mean, it really does resemble...

*We all begin to share confused looks*

Sam: I know what you're thinking.

Etoile: Right?

*Our shared astonishment continues*

Me: But, it can't be.... Can it?

Frankenblog: No way. No fucking way.

Smoove D: It couldn't be.

Kitten: That's what I'm saying. There is just absolutely and totally, completely NO WAY.

Jonny B: Nope. I think it is.

Mike Tender: Me too, Man.

E-Man: I'm with Mike and Jonny.

Me: Huh.

Sam: Huh.

Brittle Lemon: Huh.

Everyone: HUH.

*Five minutes of SILENCE as we all stand around shaking our heads*

Me *bewildered* : It's an e-mail.

All of us *stunned* : Huh.