Bellow

tales of a girl in the city

mars 12, 2004

Well-Wishing

Thank you all for your comments and your emails. Such an overwhelming surge of love and concern has not been felt since the "We Are the World" video of 1985.

I am mystified by this phenomenon--all of these strangers walking around in my head, picking things up and commenting on my taste in dishware. Kind of. It's all very flattering, and interesting, and a bit...well, disconcerting when people make judgements or, even worse, throw out insults. (Ahem. Certain letters of the alphabet falling between W and Y. Ahem.)

What is a better image, really, to convey what happens in this odd, online world, is the idea of walking along a street at night and looking into people's windows. You see a couple sitting in their kitchen, and they're holding hands, maybe. Or maybe they are moving back and forth across their room, arguing, while you stand on the street for a moment to watch. You judge them based on that moment because it's all you know of their lives. It's an image that is caught, temporary. Also partial. They're so unhappy you think. Or They're so in love. They might be both, or neither. Everything you know of them has taken place in the frame of a window, in the slim space between two curtains.

I think we all see where I'm going with this.

As for your 17 (!!) comments on the March 2nd post, it has occurred to me that I should pretend to have instigated a Super Secret Grander Plan: TO FOOL YOU ALL INTO THINKING I'D GONE AWAY, JUST SO I COULD TOP THE PREVIOUS COMMENT RECORD OF 13.

But, I'm bad at pretending when it comes to Super Secret Plans. Really, I just had a lot on my mind and was moved to play Guest Relations Associate at a new location, where I work with a man who has absolutely no sense of other people's personal space, who weirds me out so much that I need to leave the office frequently to get away from him, and then end up walking around Soho and spending money on strappy summer sandals that I have no use for. Instead of writing my blog.

Perhaps the Real Super Secret Grander Plan should involve me finding a new job....

In any case, as you will see below, I have not been neglecting you or my writing, I've just been having trouble pinning my feelings down. I needed to get things in motion, so that I could get the fuck over this M Thing already and get my groove back. As it were.

So enjoy these posts, which I've entered in the order in which they happened in real time, so you can get caught up.

Tomorrow, I shall tell you more. Promise.

Unless the weird man stands too close to me again, in which case, I'll just buy more shoes.