Briefly

Number of nostrils I can currently breathe out of: None

Number of hours we filmed for the show today: 11

Number of times I loaded a shotgun on camera yesterday: 17

Number of times I've used the word "charming" to describe towns that aren't: At least 30.

On a scale of one to ten, how socially awkward is our new sound guy: 57

Number of days it took for me to get a zit after stopping birth control: 1/2

On a scale of one to ten, how depressing is it to stop taking birth control because your relationship is over and you'll probably never have sex again: What comes after a zillion?

Number of alpacas I hung out with today for our shoot: 12

Judging on cuteness alone: Alpaca vs. Ewok? Alpaca

Judging on strange ability to fold a large thing into a much smaller thing: Seated Alpaca vs. Travel Size Umbrella? Seated Alpaca

Number of Alpacas--seated or otherwise--that I wanted to bring home with me to love me forever and comfort me in my sorrow: All

Number of times this week I felt so lonely that my teeth actually hurt: Lost count.